“But dear God, I’m here!”- Celie
This picture signifies a lot for me. Anyone who truly knows Allahnastevie knows that The Color Purple written by Alice Walker is my all time favorite novel, and by far my favorite Broadway play. The Color Purple means so much to me. It’s a story of resilience, perseverance, and patience. When looking at this picture of myself I see peace. I see a young woman with a vision. She is in a field full of beautiful challenges, but she will get through somehow.
With recent blog post I’ve touched on my struggles with anxiety and depression, and suicidal thoughts.
I picked myself up, dusted off the debris of self doubt, fear, and feeling sorry for myself and said to myself, “Allahna now what?” You can give in or you can continue to fight for the life that you envision yourself living.
So I proceeded to do so. I created a 30 day challenge for myself consisting of jogging, journaling, meditation, and yoga. That challenge began on October 11th of 2017. I was consistent for the first two weeks. I would get up around 6:30 A.M to jog before classes and meditate while doing 30 minutes of yoga every evening before bed. As the weeks went on I wasn’t as consistent, which in turn made me feel like a failure. I found myself with a poor appetite. I lacked the discipline to meditate or do my 30 minutes of yoga. Even my journal entries were inconsistent. I thought to myself, “No matter how hard I try, things just won’t look up.” Today marks the 23rd day of my challenge, and I promised myself to finish these last 7 days off strong.
So far, this challenge has taught me to speak positive things into the universe and have the universe reward you. It taught me that God does hear me, and just like in The Color Purple when the character Celie continued to persevere and reach out to God, the universe and God herself finally answers her. So, I might not have been perfect during this challenge, but I’m still fighting. I am still on a mission to change my life. It’s far from over. This is only the beginning.